Dresden, Joshua Tyler

[joshua]

Joshua Tyler Dresden
»»» TWENTY THREE - WE KILLED CAESAR– LEAD GUITAR - MARRIED - JOSH BEECH

I guess I always knew I would end up famous, and unhappy. I mean from the time I was young I knew I had a passion for music, and when I put my heart and soul into something, I seem to always succeed. So why should I be surprised that everything I ever struggled for wasn’t what I actually needed. Music was my escape from a world and a home life I never wanted to face. The fact of the matter is my father is scum, who never gave two shits about his family, nor being a good person. His philosophy was to beat respect into my siblings and I and when that failed, he simply just vanished. My dad would be missing for huge chunks of my childhood, popping up on occasion when he had nowhere else to go, or was on one of his I’m going to be better this time kicks. My father loved two things, booze and belittling. He was never supportive of any of us, and never hesitated to humiliate me in front of my friends. Meanwhile mother dearest was hardly stable, but who could blame her. Working two jobs, and attempting to keep two very rowdy boys, and one very naughty girl in line would take a toll on anyone. Not to mention my father’s random surprise visits never helped her nerves. Thinking back on it, I don’t think there was a single point in my childhood where my mother was ever happy. Having watched my mom gradually deteriorate over the years has made me see that responsibility should never come in the way of happiness, thus I tend to be a very selfish person. My needs will always come before the needs of my band, my family, or anyone else. I refuse to be unhappy in order to do what society thinks is morally right.

As I grew up I got more and more involved in playing guitar, which eventually paid off when I met my band mates. Mind you I had my own opinions on how things should have been handled when we first started making it big, I kept them to myself. I tend to be rather reserved, and not one to have to assert my authority on every matter. Respect isn’t something that is gained through being the most dominant member of a group, its gained through mutual understanding. My father was an ape, I am not. So although some may take my silent nature as weakness, I am far from it. When the need arises my true colors show and those who know me best never have to worry about me having their back. I’m extremely loyal to those I call friends, and no matter what drama or bullshit is thrown into the mix, I’ll never falter. Although I disagreed with signing with a label, I kept my mouth shut, some things are simply just not worth arguing about. I’ve got bigger things to worry about then who is signing my paychecks.

My wife isn’t the easiest person to get along with sometimes but I still love her. Although at times I think I gave in, that I compromised myself to do what society dictates I should have, I wouldn’t change it for the world. Sure, her getting pregnant was never part of the plan, something I certainly didn’t want in my twenties, but I couldn’t ask her to abort it. Thus I married her three years ago, and have a beautiful baby girl to show for it. I remain a dedicated dad, even if I’m a cheating husband. To be honest my wife and I have very separate lives, and even when I am home, we hardly spend any time together at all. I’m beginning to believe she’s more in love with the fame, than I am. I know I’m fooling myself by thinking she has no idea that I sleep around on her, but part of me feels like it would be much harder to accept that she’s okay with it. She never confronts my about the pictures on my phone, the rumors online, or the fact I leave random numbers lying around all the time. I know its only a matter of time before she slaps divorce papers in front of me and takes half my shit, but hey it will all be worth it in the end.

ALICE, 21, NONE, INDIANA, USA.